yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
you had me at cake vodka
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
