Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize