she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
