She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
