he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize