That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
