im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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