Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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