Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
