I wish life had little blips of pornography
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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