its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
