You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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