I'm gonna have a badass scar
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
