you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
