I wanna bring you to show and tell
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
