Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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