Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
