I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
