this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
