I intend to get homeless drunk
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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