Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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