I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
