u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
