He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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