At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
