$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
