the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize