I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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