im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize