butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
