I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
