After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize