so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize