Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
