....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize