He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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