she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
