did you get engaged???
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
