i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
