Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
