He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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