too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
