Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
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