please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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