he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
