Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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