addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
no, he came in my armpit
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
