I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
my liver is dry heaving
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
