McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Everything about him screamed your future.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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