i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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