so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
