I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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