this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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