He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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