I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
