i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
