i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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