I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize