i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
