I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize