some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My pussy is not your playground.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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