Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
