You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
