playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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